K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Apparently you make a good broom.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
