bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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