it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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