So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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