Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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