Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
