worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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