If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
