Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
