Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
