R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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