I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
