Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
