When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Your cock deserves a montage
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize