dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
