I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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