i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
