did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
