exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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