I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
