Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
