people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
