She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
