so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
