He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
