I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize