I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
