i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
