where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
