We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
