Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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