But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
