I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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