Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
