Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
