so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's shark week go big or go home
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
