Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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