I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
did i just pee glitter
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
