I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This house was built for laser tag.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
