the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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