I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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