I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
