i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
