That's when you crack a 10am beer
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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