i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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