Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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