so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
