quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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