I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
