two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
