You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
