My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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