My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
