apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
