She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
