There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
