the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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