Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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