im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize