We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
