I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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