i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
