You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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