Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
