we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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