i just had sex bonerless
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
