Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
